So, let's see, I've spent the last hour or so playing on Photoshop and practicing more of those tutorials from that Down and Dirty Tricks book I bought a few months back. Trying out and modifying a few of the techniques is always fun, and helps keep the creative jucies oozing.

Alsoa plus on the business front: I've spoken with a couple people in regards to managing the business side of Bright-Matrix. There'll be a trip to the account (or two) in the near future to discuss how to optimize the financial side of things. Odds are we'll be incorporating before the end of the summer (right now we're a partnership) and when that's done it'll open up a lot of ways and means to managing everything, as well as being set-up for future endeavors.

It was rather amusing: Mike's been very glad that I've been pursuing this portion of the company, saying that he's been focused on the clients while I take care of the business. We joked that Mike is the Corporate Face of Bright-Matrix, the guy who meets the clients and get the business while I'm the Black Ops division, working behind the scenes and doing the dirty work. It's about as absurd as comparison as you can make, qulle surprise I rather like it. I now have visions of dressing up in black (gee, there's a strech) wearing night-vison goggles and move only at night (See, I'm a Goth Black Ops kinda guy.) I'll become the "silent" partner to Bright-Matrix. Mike will hit the parties in his dress suit, suavely chatting away potential clients while I repel the window of our their offices, hacking into their computers (now that's a strech) to learn enough information to make sure Bright-Matrix beats out its competitors for the job. Now that's how you make a living.

And I'm sitting here trying to come up with something else to say but there doesn't seem to be much else there in the brain. Which, of course, is rather ironic considering the kinda guy that I am. The truth is my mind is filled with way too many thoughts. I've got so many bullet-trains racing round my head it almost becomes static. But getting them down "on paper"...?

See, the problem I have with Blogs as self-confessional is that it isn't real. It seems real, but lets face facts--this is a computer screen. This is no more "me" than it is "you", and you're not the one typing. The internet fosters the illusion of intimacy. And I know, I understand that true intimacy can be found online. Witness the people at the V or the defunked SK8J and WEF forums where friendships formed through online interaction. But, there is the rub because this Blog is not interactive. It's me oozing my brain out on whatever I feel or don't feel like talking.

I think the amount of thoughts I don't want to share is overwhelmingly out-numbers the thoughts I am willing to share. And you think, with the veil of semi-anonimity, (or even more obvious, the number of you whom I do know that I talk to regularly) that this blog provides I'd be far more willing to talk about my inner most demons (to floss poeticly for a moment).

There's the whole "judgement" problem. Ever since high school when I kept my 1991-1992 journal, I'm keenly aware of the amount of repetiion involved in thought processes. the brain does not reach epiphanies eassily, and even when they do it often takes still more time to act on them. So if I kept an actual log of my daily thoughts, you'd really be reading the same half dozen or so tangets over and over, varied slightly for vocabulary's sake but contextually identical to each other. And where's the fun in that?

George Carlin once reminded his audience that we think in language. But not only do I think it language, I think with a studio audience--so much of my thought process is conducted in terms of presentation. I don't jsut think to myself, I think to other people. I blame television. I really do.

And thus the reason for this half-confessional, which I'm actually tempted to delete as if it never happened--the other beauty and fallacy of the internet: the way one can so easily alter what is presented, changing whatever needs to be changed and leaving no trace that what is seen existed in any other form. But let me nibble the bullet and leave this as is. There is an achieveable balance you know.